[su_heading size=”18″]A Funny Story About Wanting Sex[/su_heading]

On her 50th birthday Ethel found herself on her own in a hotel. She was feeling a little lonely, so she thought to herself: “I’ll call one of those guys you see advertised for escorts and sensual massages.”

She looked through the phone book, and found a full-page ad for a man calling himself Tender Tony.

In the photo he looked very handsome, with assorted physical skills. He had thick wavy hair, long powerful legs, muscles in all the right places, dazzling smile, six-pack abs – and she felt certain she could bounce a sixpence off his well-oiled bum…

She thought to herself “What the hell. Nobody will ever know. I’ll give him a call” and she dialled his number.

“Good evening ma’am, how can I help you?”

Oh my” she thought, “he sounds sooo sexy!” Afraid she’d lose her nerve if she hesitated, she rushed right in.

“Hi, I hear you give a great massage. I’d like you to come to my hotel room and give me one. No, wait, I should be straight with you. I’m in town all alone and what I really want is sex – I want it hot and I want it now. Bring toys, rubber, leather, whips – everything you’ve got. We’ll go hot and heavy all night – tie me up, cover me in chocolate syrup and whipped cream – anything and everything – I’m ready! Now how does that sound?”

He said: “That sounds absolutely fantastic. But you need to press 9 for an outside line.”