At a dinner party the other night one of the family dogs, Lucy, got scared from the flames of a fire that was made to toast marshmallows in and we were all amazed to see the other family dog, Bubbles, grab a hold of Lucy’s neck with her teeth to calm her down. The concept stuck and Gretchen could not help but bite my neck all evening. “Could ya stop doing that?” I asked after her fourth attempt.
The Mukester is still with us and even though I am astonished to find that I am the next Dr. friggin’ Doolittle with neighborhood animals coming out of the woodwork to talk to me I still refuse to stop and chat with dog owners just because our dogs are sniffing butts.
Mornings are not my own anymore with Muki at my feet chewing incessantly on anything she can find. My office looks like a doggy playground with bones and unstuffed animals strewn about. The carpet that was two months ago a beautiful soft gray is now brown from Muki’s paws and my desk is covered with shoes and other items that I have torn out of Muki’s jaws before they are completely destroyed.
When Wade comes into my office to kiss me good morning he is met with my guard dog. “Good morning Muki,” he says sweetly as she backs away and growls at him. “Muki, Muki, come here Muki…..ya bitch,” he says retreating.
When he comes home from work Muki runs under the dining table and her ears flatten. “Muki, I’m home,” he calls attune to Jack Nicholson in The Shining. He goes through phases with her, trying really hard and then speaking in his Shining voice or giving her treats and then smacking her on the behind with a newspaper when she poops on his side of the floor of our bedroom. “You’re reeling her in and then pushing her away,” I warn him. “I don’t think Cesar would commend that.” “F Cesar,” he replies.
But Cesar Millan, The Dog Whisperer, has become an integral part of our training. At first Cesar’s entire first episode from Netflix sat unopened for three weeks with Wade and the boys refusing to watch it but as the weeks continued with Muki resisting Wade’s charms we finally all sat down to discover Cesar’s secrets. When it was over Wade stood in the doorway, legs apart and hands on his imaginary holster, Wa, Wa (that’s Wade’s cowboy noise he makes when he means business), “Muki, it’s time you and I went for a walk,” he said hitching her to a leash and leading her out the door. She still hates him.
We now watch Cesar every night and Wade still perseveres vacillating between loving and hating Muki. Also, the boys and I trudge all the way to Glenwood Springs once a week to learn from Mark who trains out of Petco. As Mark tells me that I have to make sure that Muki and I “look” into each other’s eyes so that she learns to look at me for commands I am distracted by the boys who have crawled up onto the shelves and are splayed out on top of the sacks of dog food. “Come,” I sternly whisper to them and I look at Mark apologetically. But Mark has a way with animals and I guess I am one of them so he looks at me and quietly smiles, the words are not necessary.
To be continued…..
Click on link to see Muki with the boys: muki and the boys
Jillian's Real Life 
Reeling her in and then pushing her away… such typical male behavior ;). Sounds like Muki is cautious about giving her heart!
.-= parenting ad absurdum´s last blog ..Ouch, my uterus =-.
LikeLike
Peryl, Muki is as jealous as all get out. Finally, somebody is jealous with me!
LikeLike
Jillian,
Hope the shoes being chewed are not Jimmy Choo’s!!!! That would really be heart breaking. I just discovered out bunny, oreo (whose name seems to change weekly by Hayden and Tasha) chewed one of my VERY expensive shoes…like $800.00 shoes..never worn, that Paola gave me from her store “Gypsy” in Nantucket……Talk about depression! Then one of the animals chewed the bottom of a chair, so that when I sat in it, I fell through (or was it really my big, fat behind that caused me to fall through……) Then Peter just baught hayden a new DS charger only to come home from school to find it knawed in half…..have not told Peter yet! Oh…I have more stories…like my brand new dryer would not work…took weeks to get repair man over, and had to wait at home all day for him…only to find him saying “mam…I think you have a rodents in your home as the wires have been chewed threw……as my darling piped up…Oh we don’t have rodents..it was the hamster. I am like shhhhh shhhhhh other wise I will be charged for repair..which i was. Happend TWICE… TWICE. Oh and another time, was on the computer and suddenly everything went dead….Bunny chewed threw cord. Try explaining that to Comcast…..Then there was the baby bird that fell out of the nest that the children rescued, I had to feed it soggy cat food threw a dropper (made me gag worse then dirty diapers!) to keep alive over night so i could drive three hours to bring it to a bird santuary that would rehabilitate it and send it back into the wild (all animal rescue places around me would just have put it to sleep. Just so you all know…it is a falasy if you touch an animal that the mother will desert it. if you do find an animal, just leave it, the mother will come for it and feed it and care for it. Then there is the family of foxes that live in my shed…..The family of heard of turkeys that scare the cat and children. You would think i lived in the country….my house abutts a major busy road called Route 9… So tell that dog whisperer, if he needs any advice..just call me the Wellesley animal rescuer.
How could Muki not like Wade. Everyone likes Wade. Very funny…I can just picture him calling her a “bitch” with a twinkle in hos eye.
I hope you are bringng Muki out this summer to Nantucket (as long as she does not go near my shoes!)
Love you
Melanie
LikeLike
Mouse, I know this will make you choke on whatever it is you may be eating by I have never owned a pair of Jimmy Choos.
Are you sure that you fell through the chair because a bunny chewed through it?
What if you fall in love with somebody who is allergic to fur? Bye bye bunny!!!
Thanks for all the advice on mothering strays nature girl!!! Have you been making daisy chains lately for your hair?
Muki will stay behind with his love, Wade.
LikeLike
I guess you are right, we are all animals. I am keen to learn what you are learning, it all helps when one have kids. Good luck, xox Wilma
.-= Wilma Ham´s last blog ..Wilma on If only the WomenLikeMe way was this easy. =-.
LikeLike