Many Aspenites escape to Moab with their children in the fall and spring, when the weather is getting colder in Aspen.
My mother answered my phone call and listened intently as I told her that I was going through another low with my writing. I read to her the first line in Leo Tolstoys book, Anna Karenina, Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way. I whined to her that I was incapable of creating beautiful prose and that my writing had no depth.
My mother has always believed in my writing and has been my guiding light as she refuels me with her positivity. I take her intellectual praise as the greatest gift since she snubs mediocrity and lives to read. This time her response to my cry for help was not what I expected, Thats wonderful honey. When I asked her to elaborate she explained that she was excited that I had no debt.
It is my mother, my sister and a handful of friends who keep me positive and on track. As I plow through these moments of low self esteem they do not accept failure from me encouraging me to explore my own voice and telling me to enjoy the journey and not focus on the end result. I am always so impressed by their words of undying wisdom, they are the ones who should be writing!
Ahhh the journey. Whenever somebody mentions anything to do with travel I slip into a deep reverie. I have never stayed in one place for this long without taking off somewhere, anywhere, to break up the monotony and my life is truly getting more and more monotonous as I deal with troubled finances and rejection letters.
So I think I’ll take off for the desert tomorrow, just me and the kids. We’ll explore the rocks, soak up the sun, inhale the air and reconnect and hopefully I’ll come home with a renewed interest in my writing.
OMMMM
Can’t go to the desert without getting naked!
Jillian's Real Life 
I hope you are coming back from your escape with a renewed sense of determination to keep writing! It’s great that you have the support, “fans” if you will, like your mother. I know all too well that doubt, fear, sense of failure and that motley crew of the writer’s enemies can do a severe number on you! Been there! Especially when I was trying to make money writing – it was awful. Try as I would, I couldn’t forget the bottom line – it was torture!
A wonderful old mentor told me “Write thru the pain. KNOW that you have a gift and forget the price tag. Don’t write a book, write a page. Don’t write an article, write a paragraph. And whatever you do, NEVER associate writing with money.”
Well that sounded fine. I couldn’t pull it off. Not then. Not when I had kids to tend, not when I felt all splintered to begin with! Not when I couldn’t just wake up each day and curl up with the muse for the day. Drove me NUTS. I was obsessed with having the validation of getting PUBLISHED. It didn’t matter that my husband and the entire writers group I belonged to told me I was a wonderfully gifted writer. It only consoled me to a point. I was still very down on myself.
So what did I do? I took up painting. I quit writing. At first my paintings sold quickly. Then I became sales oriented. And it dried up and my painting became flat and boring. Try as I would, I couldn’t get that initial spirit back into it, that beginner’s mind, that free flowing thing. What happened? I stopped believing in myself and focused too much on making money.
I don’t know why I’m rambling on here – I just want to hug you and tell you not to give up, not to bash yourself, not to use the “f” word (failure) – believe in yourself and write for the joy of it, not anything else – keep writing girl! You are brilliant! BELIEVE IT.
Hugs
suZen
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I too feel that way when anyone mentions their travels!
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Beautiful pictures. I hope you found the desert inspiring. Writing definitely has it’s peaks and valleys. Hopefully you’ll be on the upswing again soon.
I like your blog. Found you on Mom Bloggers Follow Me Group. I’m now following and looking forward to reading more.
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Having that kind of encouragement around you can certainly make one snap quickly out of their inner “sink”. It seems that distress for what we WANT to do, financial concern for HOW to do it, and the inevitable rejection that comes with challenges is facing all of us more and more often. Just keep turning to the same sources when you feel like you might be sinking into a funk, and it sounds like you’ll always be turned out okay.
Me? I just turn to Coca~Cola. 🙂
Happy Tuesday.
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What a great trip! Hope you return renewed and refreshed.
Love that pic of all the shorts on the ground…too funny.
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Hey JennyMac, what is the desert if you can’t get naked in it?
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I hope your trip does, indeed, renew you. For what it’s worth, I very much enjoy your writing and believe that your mother and sister’s encouragement is well founded. Stick with it; your gift to the world is in the making.
~ Megan
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These pictures are gorgeous! It looks so tranquil! Where did you guys go?
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