Summer Break Is More Like Breakdown

Aspen Real Life Author

[su_heading size=”18″]Summer Break Is More Like Breakdown[/su_heading]

On our way home from the airport we went to Costco to load up on food to feed the troops of boys that traipse through the house. Walking in I noticed that Thumper looked like a piggy with a band-aid stretched from his nostrils up to his eyebrows. “Really?” I asked. “I’m not with you, understand?” I was exhausted from traveling and not prepared to face the stress that lay ahead the second I drove past our for sale sign.  And I wasn’t in the mood to parent.

Every now and again I spotted them, climbing up to lay on the huge sacks of dog food on the shelves, carrying enormous stuffed bears around the store or sitting on the reclining media chairs to play with the buttons, up down up down. “Don’t forget to eat your lunch at the sample booths,” I quietly yelled and scooted into the next aisle. Bad, huh?

My first night back I dreamed that Wade and Michele pulled an intervention and made me go on antidepressants. The second night I dreamed I was at the airport all dressed in bright colors and sea shells designed by Lilly Pulitzer, something like this:

A police came up to me and asked to look in my bright pink beach bag that happened to be filled with marijuana. Busted. “But it’s legal in Colorado,” I exclaimed. “Everybody’s doing it.” “I’m like Mary-Louise Parker in Weeds. I need to pay my mortgage.” Anxiety much?

It’s funny, all my life I was infatuated with boys. No really, life was dull for me without them. And now? With no budget for camps, mannies or kid programs my summers consist of days on end spent with a pack of high energy tweenage boys + a few little ones tagging along and I don’t always have the energy or the mental capacity to deal with it.

As the days go by I’m reacclimating and my constitution is improving. I may even have more fun hanging out with my boys and their friends than with adults. In fact, when I run into an acquaintance, I worry that slang will pop out of my mouth. Could it be that I am becoming socially inept?

I have it all figured out. I’m going to drink a pot of coffee in the morning so that my energy matches the boys and I’m going to get  revved up for the remaining two weeks of summer and pack in the fun. Since the boys are more keen on “hanging” rather than hiking to all of the lakes of Colorado, I am putting together a list of our favorite hanging spots, where I can slip in adventures before they realize what is going on.

Tell me your favorite things to do with your kids and I’ll include it.


8 thoughts on “Summer Break Is More Like Breakdown

  1. Ah, Jillian, welcome to parenting. It might not do any good to tell you that you’re actually doing an exceptional job of parenting and holding it together. However, I’m going to do it anyway. You are doing an exceptional job of parenting and holding it all together. 🙂

    I know so many people who are being challenged right now – myself included. As trite as it sounds, this, too, will pass. Take simple pleasures in just being. A pot of coffee, a sunny day, the sounds of the boys being kids. The feel of your the dog’s fur on your fingers as you pet her. The feel of a hug from a friend – even if it’s a virtual hug.

    Love you and miss you, girlfriend. You’re doing great and it really will all work out beautifully. You simply cannot get it wrong. 🙂



  2. why was i not in the dream for this intervention!!!! you do not give yourself enough credit… are a smart, well rounded, incredible daughter,mother, wife and sister. A little cooky, but its in our genes….heredity cannot be faught with!!!!
    love and miss you in nantucket


    1. Mouse, yeah, good question. Why weren’t you in that dream? You do hold court, however, in all of my party dreams which are far more frequent…and happy. Last night I asked Brevitt if he loved his Aunt Melanie because we were talking about Basin, after Wade starting howling like him, and your bunny and piggy and cat and he replied, “Of Course I do silly!”


  3. Hi Jillian! You either caffeinate yourself into hyper-land WITH them or you slip herbal calm tabs into their food. (I’m doing this with my hyper one yr old pup now – seriously) This too shall pass.

    I remember hauling my kids to the food pantry to haul boxes and sort food. Getting them to work hard for a great cause, I would look for anywhere I could to volunteer them and their energy. I forced them to work in the garden and when I didn’t have one, I took them to the senior center’s garden and literally gave them away to help there. We also spent quite a bit of time with Habitat for Humanity where my son got a few construction “lessons” and actually seemed to enjoy himself – (he doesn’t know I know that, haha!)

    Soon, school. Hang in there!


    1. Suzen, give me some of those herbal calm tablets!!

      What a great mother you were when your kids were younger, and still are. My true desire is to take the boys on Evo-Tours around the world but I’m petrified of homeschooling.

      Hugs back, J


  4. I love this! Hlarious!

    All I can say is that I am so thankful we have a pool – it’s the absolute best for using up some of that teenage energy! My son loves to fish, so when he starts to get on my nerves I send him out with a pole.

    We lived outside Boulder when we were first married. I love (and miss) Colorado!


    1. Pools are where it’s at, and lakes, and rivers, and slip n slides, oceans, sprinklers….. It’s all about water in the summer.

      But in Florida you have all that, right? It’s good to get in a bit of both Florida and Colorado. We’re trying to get back there this winter.


  5. Sounds like a pretty hectic life! You are doing a really good job keeping it together though. I can think of a lot of other people that I know who just resort to spanking their children and yelling at them in public. At least you can keep it together enough to not explode in their faces! You’re doing good!


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